NWV Brief #11: Feedback & Advice

Dear Founder,

Feedback and advice—solicited and unsolicited—revolve around us. Most of us enjoy giving it, but receiving it? That’s another story.

For this letter, let’s define the difference: feedback is about what you could have done better in the past, while advice is about how to do better in the future.

We can directly ask for feedback or advice—after all, those with the most valuable insights often wait to be asked. But we can also be subtle, observing reactions and turning them into useful feedback.

Contrary to popular belief, there isn’t a one-size-fits-all method to seek or give feedback and advice. But there are principles worth mastering.

Seeking Feedback and Advice: Do’s and Don’ts

Don’ts:

• Don’t take all feedback or advice at face value; use a filtering system.

• Don’t forget to consider the source. 

• Don’t wait until the house is on fire to seek input.

Do’s:

• Be intentional and specific about what you’re seeking feedback on—and from whom.

• Seek input regularly, but not so frequently that it paralyzes you.

• Filter feedback: take what resonates and leave the rest.

• Ask pointed questions—like requesting a rating from 1 to 10 and a single piece of advice to close the gap.

• Look for gut reactions in addition to thoughtful analysis.

Giving Feedback and Advice: Do’s and Don’ts

Don’ts:

• Don’t give it unless you’ve been asked or have explicit permission.

• Don’t project your experiences or be overly prescriptive.

• Don’t criticize or use the word should—it sparks defensiveness.

Do’s:

• Share stories that allow others to draw their own lessons.

• Ask thoughtful, open-ended questions.

• Offer insights that inspire reflection, not resistance.

A Challenge For The Week

1. Filter with Intent: Identify one undervalued source of feedback and give their insights more weight this week.

2. Ask Differently: Frame a specific, actionable question the next time you seek advice.

3. Be a Mirror: Offer feedback or advice to someone in a way that builds clarity and confidence.

The truth is growth often emerges not from the answers we’re given but from the questions we ask.

With clarity, purpose, and vision,